Distraction

I am a freelancer working in events. My typical summer can involve weeks, even months, of continual 18 hour days. I multitask my way around several projects at a time, firing out a dozen emails, whilst texting, creating spreadsheets, making calls and eating a Twix. By no means am I unique in my style of working; it is the norm, and people who work in this manner surround me.

However recently I began to realize that my memory and concentration were suffering a great deal, and my ability to relax had been compromised somehow. I was finding it increasingly difficult to sit and watch a film without gripping my iPhone and involving myself in a cycle of checking Twitter, Instagram, emails, Twitter, Instagram, emails. Even a couple of minutes from the previous refresh, I would be craving another look. During online research I would click about the web with great speed. Articles, and even lengthy emails, would be skimmed for important snippets. I had stopped reading things in full – even away from the screen. The distraction of a new email would pull me away from a spreadsheet in an instant. I would drift out of interest in a simple conversation. In essence, I had become a multi-tasking, speed addicted machine. I was living my life based on the next distraction; I set to find out how this was affecting me, and how I could alter my way of working for the better.

In the very simplest terms, the way my brain was functioning was as an uber-efficient information-processing and multi tasking machine. The more I processed and the quicker I did it, the more my brain craved to be satisfied by these instantaneous bits of information and interaction. The internet is the ideal tool for this gratification, as it stimulates my senses aurally, visually and intellectually, It allows me to believe that I am gaining knowledge at lightening speed, whilst interacting socially and completing multiple tasks all in one go. This all sounds great – my brain was working a little like a computer itself. I was powering through my work tasks, and socialising at the same time. However, this was causing me a set of new problems – I was losing the ability to commit things to memory, I was constantly distracted, and I was unable to think or relax deeply. I felt like my brain was never free.

To free my mind, I needed to understand the basics of how it all worked. In simple terms, we can split the brain into ‘working memory’ and ‘long term memory’. Working memory holds a very limited amount of information for a very small period of time, relating to what we are currently doing in that second. The longer term memory holds an infinite amount of information, that can be recalled at anytime, and stored for life. Things in the working memory get committed to the long term memory and are stored there. However, if the working memory is bombarded with information, its limited capacity means it struggles to hold and convert everything. Essentially, it means that it fails to commit this information to long term memory. The bombardment comes in the form of distraction. I am looking at a web page with a block of text, some adverts, a hyperlink and some audio. There can be an email bleeping in the background. The radio is on. My iPhone just vibrated: Whilst my ability to complete my tasks is not affected, my ability to commit any information to my long term memory is severely compromised. I am basically processing the information, but not actually learning anything at all.

Luckily, even though we have all seemingly begun to have brains that function like computers, we are actually able to change our brain function at any point. This neuroplasticity means that I can alter the way I work – as long as I have the ability to exert some self-control over the situation! I have decided to tackle the project in five main steps.

In my case, the first step has been to shut down social media and RSS feeds that constantly run in the background. I can check them each hour by reopening the program, but they are not sat on my desktop, baying for my attention each time a distant friends posts something about her dog. It’s amazing how little I miss the photos of a colleague’s dinner, considering how much time I used to dedicate to looking at them.

Second big step was to take my emails off ‘auto-refresh’, and instead have them refreshing on the hour. When writing this down, it doesn’t appear to be a major change, but there have been countless times when I have found my hand sliding over the ‘get new mail’ button, and I am still finding myself click rapidly from application to application to see if anything new has come in.

Added to this, I needed to separate out my tasks. The problem with my email thread and my to-do lists was always the syndrome of having multiple projects on the bounce. I would be completing tasks for two totally different projects at the same time, and hence not concentrating fully on either. I decided to use the Toggl application to help me with this. Toggl allows me to use a timer for each project or job I am completing. I start the timer, and then I do any tasks relating to this project. When I know that my time is being compartmentalised in this manner, then I find I focus on the one item.

My fourth big step has been to re-engage my brain with deep reading. I am back at the library and dedicating at least 30 minutes a day to a book. No music, no computer, no phone; just reading. The process of this has been enlightening. Initially I found it hard to get past two pages without finding myself wondering why the neighbour was banging her door shut, or if I should have some biscuits with my tea. Gradually, the more I engage in this dying art, the easier it becomes. The neuroplasticity of my brain is truly at work!

And finally, I have been separating my thumbs from my phone. I am aware I cannot live without the device, but I am making a conscious effort to ensure that it is not in my hand during face-to-face conversations, or on the table during dinner. It is on silent when I am concentrating on important work tasks, and it no longer alerts me to every single move made by someone in my social networks.

And so we are here, 11 days into my personal brain-altering experiment. I have created the boundaries, and set the wheels in motion. My next challenge is to ensure the process becomes a method of working, and not just a vain January resolution

Breezeblocks

When do breezeblocks become a home?

Door to door, my better half has amazing chances in a place 323km from where I was born and bred. I left him in that town today, and when I returned to the house we created, it was nothing without him. I walked the stairs but there was nobody to open the doors. I had to find my own keys. I turned on the heating  but it got too hot because he wasn't monitoring the temperature for us. I sat on the sofa but I was lost without him playing his music too loud. Is that a home?

There is a car that has parked in the same spot outside our house for three years. Every day. Same spot. I would debate the point of even having a car if I was the owner. But it is there, and I know it will be there at whatever time of day I arrive home. I always know the forth and sixth window-ledges are a little bit out of line with the other ones, and that my key has never properly worked in the door. I know that the bin room has a weird black fleece hanging up. And it scares me. I know that my neighbour is out flyering for a club night I will never go to, and that the other lady always leaves her binbags out for too long. Is that a home?

How do you decide where you belong? How do breezeblocks become home?

This Devil's Workday

I am having a strange day, compacted with a clash of emotions and ideas. So I can't think of a better day to contribute to a dusty blog account that has been waiting patiently for some proper attention since 2009.

My job has never felt like work. I want that to always be the case. So much time is spent earning money, trying to progress in life and to carve out a 'career' being a 'success', that I strongly believe you need to be doing something you love. As Confucius said, 'choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life'. I have that one boxed off nicely. I have worked on some amazing projects, with some amazing people in all corners of a beautiful world. I got asked recently what the best thing is about my job - I think it's that one moment i get to take a breath during an event, and in that moment I stand back and look at thousands of people smiling and dancing and caked in mud and joy.....and that is the best thing about my job. I love being able to create and drive something that people regard as being so special to them. Hundreds of people could have worked 20 hour days in torrential rain for weeks on end to create that one moment when your favourite band play your favourite song, and you are stood with the people closest to you in the world. 

The problem that I now suffer is that I am no longer the person that is smiling and dancing and caked in mud and joy. From the word go, I was always dedicated to my job. I work meticulously and solidly, uncompromising to the outcome. However, recently I have taken a look at how that has impacted upon my own life. Suddenly I felt a little alone. When I wasn't doing my emails, or creating my spreadsheets, or juggling my jobs, I was lost for something to do. I had literally become unaware of what else people do outside of working. I had become disconnected from living a life. Time had jogged on, and I had forgotten to balance it out with the stuff that really mattered. When I look back at the past ten years, I don't remember the amazing spreadsheet I once created, I remember venturing to Spain with Jenni, playing suicide jukebox with Hunter, driving the campervan to Glasto with Adam, walking in Central Park with my family.....I remember the stuff that makes someone complete.

So now is the time that I will readdress the balance. Over the next few months I will try and change the impact of the past few years. I will call friends, visit people, sit out in the sun, go to the library, cook for my dad, actually see the things that are happening in front of me. My work will always get done, but now I will also be working on my life.

I guess i will be using this blog to record my progress in some way or another....it will stand as a constant reminder that it is not length of life, but depth of life that matters.

cx

Photoshop Handsome

I have some Austin photos. I think. Somewhere.

I will upload them post haste.

Boys and Girls in America

Oooooooo TEXAS. Spent the week in Austin, Texas at SxSW. Second year running and much more of an eye opener. I am still officially teetotal, which is one mean feat after attending a festival that revolves around the free beer and BBQs…..did I also mention I am vegetarian?!?! However, rather than involving myself in a raucous and unruly mass band-off, I carefully planned, vigilantly selected, and most importantly, ate very well. You gotta have priorities.

So first off, I guess I should cover the festival. I felt the standard of bands and the number of truly worthy hyped bands was low this year. I got more pleasure from seeing bands that people recommended than from the “hot” A&R lists that quite frankly proved to be dry. Bear Hands, Bear in Heaven and Minus the Bear were particular favourites. I am at a loss to explain the coincidence of them all containing the word “bear”. I was a little naughty and saw some people I have seen in the past, including the ever-astounding Temper Trap who played the same bill as Boxer Rebellion who I actually quite enjoyed. Cripes. Just to recharge my cool-card, DD/MM/YY can only be described as leaving me in shock – in a good way. It was probably the craziest 20 minutes anyone could spend standing by a PA. I can only imagine what capers evolve on their tourbus. Whilst I would like to document every band I saw over the week, I think only a specific mention of the key events is required at this point; next point being that Local Natives sang so badly out of key that I was forced to leave, Gin Wigmore is possibly the most awful act I have ever seen ever, and I accidentally saw Chiddy Bang play to a roof garden of uninterested Americans who had no clue that he is UK Top 10. It’s funny the way the world works.

Venue wise, there seemed to bit a lot more on offer this year. Music was blasted out every hour of every day at every possible place that a speaker stack would fit. And sponsored by every possible sugary drink and toilet cleaner that had a dollar spare. I know this has been the case for many years now, but the prominence was definitely greater than in the past. I felt assaulted by the need for people to sell to me. Fucked Up covered it better than I can in their blog. Worth a read.

The main highlight of the week for me was definitely to be found in the provocative, informative, and well-constructed panels. SXSW overshadows all other conferences I have attended when it comes to the standard of the industry events. I came out of many a talk with my head buzzing, and regularly vomited a sprawl of ideas onto an email to my shell-shocked UK colleagues. If there is one thing that I take from the event this year, it will be what I learnt in the panels.

And so I conclude my sporadic and brief roundup of the world’s biggest live music event by pointing all visitors in the direction of good food; Moonshine for Sunday Brunch, and Buenos Aires for every other meal. Essential dining moments.

Buttons and Zips

I am very dosile at the moment. Too much activity of a weekend can leave you a bit sleepy.

On Saturday, my brain was entertained by altering clothing. I sewed vintage buttons onto some trousers, decorated a liveless stripey tee, and decided that lace laces are the way to lace lovely brogues. Photos are below. The cauliflower is an addition - the first shot I have taken at college.





Today I finally completed the last coat on my vinatage bedroom furniture! Wowzers what a mission that became. It is now glowing in a cute 50s pink, looking fresh and playful. I honestly can't wait to get to the new house and give all my new additions a home. Two weeks and counting....tick tock tick tock.....

For now, steamed lemon pudding and the top 40. Best way to watch a Sunday dusk go by.

When I Was a Painter

This weekend I began my mission to lovingly restore some 1950s bedroom furniture acquired from eBay. I imagine the dresser and the bedside table were once beautiful; effortlessly creating adoration and joy in a handsome ladies bedroom. But as days turned into years, and the sun shone through the grimy windows the furniture lost its glamour and became discoloured, old, and eventually unloved. It may have been left in the spare room where the grandkids once slept. Or buried under some records in the garage, where only the spare tires and the sparrows could hear its tales of the past.

So I went on a little trip to my Dad's house, where we sanded away the nasty old paint and the sad tales of desertion. Now it is sat in my living room, dominating my entire living space and polluting my flat with the smell of gloss and brush cleaner. I can only paint in the daylight, as unfortunately it isn't bright enough in my building. And due to the light restrictions that winter enforces on us, this means that I am confined to painting in the morning before work. I quite like it. It means I head to work each day feeling like I have achieved something creative, even if only for half an hour. I will post photos of the transformation when we are closer to its completion. It will be the first piece of furniture I have restored in my 28 years. And has also meant I can now distinguish between various paint types. Not quite enough for a change of career, but a little closer to feeling like I know something useful.

Aside from my adventures with pink gloss, I built this lovely Lego helicopter. It made me smile. A present from Matthew, who always buys me the best things.