This Devil's Workday

I am having a strange day, compacted with a clash of emotions and ideas. So I can't think of a better day to contribute to a dusty blog account that has been waiting patiently for some proper attention since 2009.

My job has never felt like work. I want that to always be the case. So much time is spent earning money, trying to progress in life and to carve out a 'career' being a 'success', that I strongly believe you need to be doing something you love. As Confucius said, 'choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life'. I have that one boxed off nicely. I have worked on some amazing projects, with some amazing people in all corners of a beautiful world. I got asked recently what the best thing is about my job - I think it's that one moment i get to take a breath during an event, and in that moment I stand back and look at thousands of people smiling and dancing and caked in mud and joy.....and that is the best thing about my job. I love being able to create and drive something that people regard as being so special to them. Hundreds of people could have worked 20 hour days in torrential rain for weeks on end to create that one moment when your favourite band play your favourite song, and you are stood with the people closest to you in the world. 

The problem that I now suffer is that I am no longer the person that is smiling and dancing and caked in mud and joy. From the word go, I was always dedicated to my job. I work meticulously and solidly, uncompromising to the outcome. However, recently I have taken a look at how that has impacted upon my own life. Suddenly I felt a little alone. When I wasn't doing my emails, or creating my spreadsheets, or juggling my jobs, I was lost for something to do. I had literally become unaware of what else people do outside of working. I had become disconnected from living a life. Time had jogged on, and I had forgotten to balance it out with the stuff that really mattered. When I look back at the past ten years, I don't remember the amazing spreadsheet I once created, I remember venturing to Spain with Jenni, playing suicide jukebox with Hunter, driving the campervan to Glasto with Adam, walking in Central Park with my family.....I remember the stuff that makes someone complete.

So now is the time that I will readdress the balance. Over the next few months I will try and change the impact of the past few years. I will call friends, visit people, sit out in the sun, go to the library, cook for my dad, actually see the things that are happening in front of me. My work will always get done, but now I will also be working on my life.

I guess i will be using this blog to record my progress in some way or another....it will stand as a constant reminder that it is not length of life, but depth of life that matters.

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